Holiday Giving at Family House

If you are looking for a ways to make families smile during the holiday season, consider donating filled holiday stockings to Family House. Each stocking can include a small gift, holiday sweets, and a note wishing holiday cheer. For gift ideas, visit our wishlist at familyhouseinc.org/amazonsmile.

Please send donations to "Santa" at Family House, 540 Mission Bay Blvd., North, San Francisco, CA 94158.

If you have questions about the program, please contact Karen Banks at kbanks@familyhouseinc.org or (415) 502-5659. All donations are tax deductible (Tax ID 94-2722663).

Thank you for helping to make the holidays bright for children in need!

Family Stories: Shasta's Girls

Family House Family Stories: Sharing the brave and inspiring stories of families of children with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. This story features Shasta, mom to Ireland, a cancer survivor, and Mia, a transplant recipient. Shasta and her family have stayed at Family House while both girls have undergone treatment at the UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. Hear from Shasta what Family House means to them, and how they get through the challenges of having two children with life-threatening illnesses.

Staff Spotlight: Karen Banks

Name: Karen Banks

Where did you grow up?
Born in Southern California, but raised in the East Bay.

Position at Family House:
Director of Volunteer Programs

Reason for working at Family House:
I absolutely love helping our families and seeing the joy on their faces. They are going through such an emotional time in their lives, and it means the world to me if we can bring them some joy, even just for an afternoon.

Favorite thing to do in San Francisco: 
I love running around the city and have run the full San Francisco Marathon.

What makes you special?
I try to have compassion for everyone I meet, and learning is an ever-evolving process. My favorite quote is, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't.” – Bill Nye

What's the story behind the photo?
In 2015, I took my first trip to Canada, and went to visit Butchart Gardens in Victoria. It was the most gorgeous and mesmerizing botanical garden that I have ever been to.

1 Second Every Day

We put together this fun video using the 1 Second Every Day app - it's a great glimpse into the wonderful craziness that is Family House! Thank you all for an incredible year!

We Run with Kaitlyn - a Fundraiser for Family House

Shelly Burr is a Family House mom - she stayed with us in 2009 while undergoing a clinical trial at UCSF to treat her in-utero daughter’s spina bifida. In honor of her daughter, Shelley is doing the “We Run with Kaitlyn” fundraiser, with a goal of raising $20,000 for Family House! So far, she’s raised over $5,000! - thank you to Shelley and her wonderful family and community! Learn more about their fundraiser at http://www.werunwithkaitlyn.com/ and watch a great video they made featuring Kaitlyn: https://youtu.be/7YA8HOa8v9U

Q: Where were you living when you Kaitlyn was diagnosed with Spina Bifida?
A: Humble, TX (a suburb of Houston)

Q: Is she your first/only child?
A: No, she is our third. Damon is our oldest -11, Audrey is 9, and Kaitlyn is 7. 

Q: Can you tell me about the MOMS study?
A: MOMS stands for "Management of Myelomeningocele Study." It was a clinical trial that tested whether a prenatal (in utero) surgery to repair myelomeningocele (the birth defect more commonly known as spina bifida) was worth the risk. The surgery involves taking the fetus out (partially) to repair/close the lesion on the spine, then put her back in for the duration of the pregnancy. The risks are many, but the most concerning was the risk of premature delivery, since the uterus is compromised by the surgery, the babies are almost always delivered pre-term. But the potential benefits are also promising, so they created a clinical trial to study it. Half of all participants were randomized to the prenatal group, and the other half were randomized to a control group (which meant simply waiting until delivery and then doing the surgery after birth, which is the normal practice with spina bifida).

Q: What was it like when you first came to Family House?
A: We were in quite a whirlwind at the time, [with Shelly] having recently undergone a very invasive and painful surgery. We had stayed at a hotel for about a week while we waited for a room to open up at Family House, and that hotel room was pretty cramped and difficult, with no kitchen or comforts of home. Finally arriving at Family House was great, as it gave us so much more peace of mind, knowing that we were going to stay there for the next few months. Having a stable place to stay, where our older two children were welcome, was an enormous blessing during the hardest time in our life.

Q: Do you have any especially nice Family House memories from that time to share?
A: The best part was the friendships we made. It was a blessing to be around so many other people who were going through some very difficult times as well, and we were able to support one another. In our case, the condition that Kaitlyn would have was certainly still scary and worrisome, but we also met other families that were going through things that were more painful, and that really helped us get perspective. In a way, by interacting with other families who needed our friendship and support as much as (or more than) we needed from them, it helped us to not be so caught up in our own self-pity and stress; we were able to reach out beyond ourselves and feel like we all were going to get through this together. The staff there were always kind, always compassionate. We felt so loved.

Q: What has Kaitlyn been through since she was born, in terms of treatment and therapy?
A: She has done so much better than her original prognosis predicted. That prenatal surgery was the only surgery she has ever had; she still has bladder and bowel issues, and we catheterize four or five times daily and do an enema every evening. Most kids with spina bifida have dozens of surgeries throughout their lives; Kaitlyn has been very blessed. She has done a lot of physical therapy over the years, started crawling at 1 and walking at 2 1/2, and can now even run on the treadmill (fastest mile was 17 minutes). Academically she is below average but not too far; she's now in first grade and does some extra tutoring on the side, and we hope she will be able to keep up.


Q: How is she now?
A: She is fantastic. She is healthy and happy, has friends, goes to school. She still does physical therapy, but otherwise is a very normal child with a silly sense of humor, and is a fun, cute and happy member of our family.

Q: Can you tell me about the idea for the “We run for Kaitlyn” fundraiser?
A: Originally it came about because I was planning to participate in a marathon and heard about a charity challenge offered by Reason2Race, where participants who were running with a fundraising cause could compete for and win some extra prize money. Our thoughts immediately turned to raising money for the national Spina Bifida Association. We called it "We Run For Kaitlyn" mostly because she represented all children with spina bifida and we were doing it for all of them.

Q: How is that changing now that it is “We run WITH Kaitlyn?
A: As Kaitlyn has grown older she has gotten better at walking and now running on the treadmill. She is quite ambulatory and is old enough now where she could do the 2K, which is the shortest distance offered at The Woodlands marathon event. We thought it would be a fun idea to have her participate and make this about all of us running for something else. Family House stood out to us as a charitable cause that we could all support, especially since it was such a part of our lives. 

Q: Do you have any advice for a family whose child has just been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness?
A: Yes: first of all, that you are not alone. It probably feels so overwhelming and scary and unfair at first. The best way to get through all of those crushing emotions is to connect with other people. Talking to a live person, whether by phone or online, can bring some understanding and sympathy from people who know what you are going through. It can make things worse if you just try to handle it alone, looking at scary pictures or stories of faceless strangers on the internet. So if you try to find new friends, look for and find new groups on Facebook and reach out to people, you will find so many people who have some idea of what you are going through and have the first-hand knowledge and experience and motivation to help you get through it.

 Q: What’s next for Kaitlyn and the rest of the family?
A: Kaitlyn is looking forward to another great year of school as she dives into first grade. She'll keep on doing therapy and extra tutoring. She and the rest of the family are also going to be putting in a lot of time and effort into a bunch of fundraising efforts as we lead up to the races on March 3 and 4 of next year. In a year or two, we hope she can learn to catheterize by herself, which will help her become more self-sufficient. She will keep on growing and becoming more independent and we have high hopes for her.  Our time in San Francisco changed the trajectory of her life, and for that we will forever be thankful.

Learn more about their fundraiser at http://www.werunwithkaitlyn.com/

Donor Spotlight: Josh Hornthal and the Hornthal Family Foundation

Do you remember how you first heard about Family House?
When I was turning 13, a big part of the “bar mitzvah season” process at Emanu-El was exploring the broader non-profit community in San Francisco, getting exposed to organizations doing really important work that you might not otherwise come across in your day-to-day life. So while Family House was one of many organizations I came across, it really stuck out and I wanted to get involved. It was eye-opening to see these families make massive sacrifices and uproot themselves and moving to be closer to the help that their son, daughter, brother, or sister needed, and I wanted to do what I could to help make their temporary living situation feel like a home.

Can you tell me about your Bar Mitzvah fundraiser?
I remember putting a card in my Bar Mitzvah invitations that basically told people about the idea of providing video game setups for Family House and said that my ideal bar mitzvah present would be if they donated to this project. 13 year old me was hoping for a few hundred dollars, enough to buy a console and some games, but our friends and family were big fans of the idea and really generous, so I wound up with a little over $3,000 to fund the project, which was way more than I was expecting.

What inspired your recent donation of video games and controllers through the Hornthal Family Foundation?
I heard from my parents that Family House had an amazing new facility and I wanted to see it for myself. I moved to Vancouver just over a year ago, so we made a plan to visit during my next trip home. We heard that with the upgrade to the new facility there was also an upgrade to the video game consoles; fortunately somebody else picked up where I left off and donated all new hardware. But a new console is only as good as the games you have to play on it, so we wanted to provide a library of games that could keep anyone entertained, no matter what genre of games you preferred.

Sounds like you’ve always been passionate about video games. Is there a specific thing about them that you find so appealing?
For me, it was always about sports video games and the way they let me engage with my favorite teams and players. For example, the 49ers only play once a week for a few months during the year. But video games meant the season never had to end. (And I could put together a winning season with the Niners…unlike our most recent season…)

What are you up to now?
Oddly enough, I wound up in the video game industry and work for EA Sports. I live in Vancouver and work out of our EA Vancouver studio doing product marketing for EA SPORTS FIFA, our soccer (or football) game.

If you knew someone looking to support a nonprofit, what would you tell them about Family House to encourage them to support us?
It’s hard to not be passionate about Pediatric Cancer, but people quickly focus on finding the cure and rarely think about the families and the kids who are battling right this minute while the search for the cure continues. Curing cancer should absolutely be everyone’s end goal, but we can’t forget about the families and the kids who are impacted right now. When a child or sibling is going through cancer treatment, the last thing any family should have to worry about is where they’re going to sleep, how they’re going to get to the hospital, or where their next meal is going to be. Nothing but a full recovery will feel like a win for the family, but Family House does everything they can to make the toughest situation for a family as navigable and comfortable as possible.




Thank you, Josh, for all you've done for Family House families throughout the years - we're so lucky to count you among our donors! Learn more at familyhouseinc.org.

Spider-Man Visits Family House

Thank you to Heart of a Hero for bringing Spider-Man to Family House! Everyone loved meeting their favorite web-slinging superhero! He shared toys and coloring books with the kids, took pictures, and even taught a few budding superheroes the right technique for throwing webs to defeat bad guys. The Serenite Foundation hosted an awesome Spider-Man themed dinner (complete with Spidey cupcakes) that everyone devoured. Superheroes unite! See more photos at https://www.facebook.com/148667470276/photos/?tab=album&album_id=10157007765640277

Family House Family Stories: Moua's Memories

Watch the latest Family House Family Stories video: Moua’s Memories 

Learn more about the incredible families we serve at http://www.familyhouseinc.org/about-us.html

Family House Family Stories: Sarah's Story

Watch the latest Family House Family Stories Video: Sarah’s Story, and learn how you can help cancer fighters like Sarah: http://www.familyhouseinc.org/donate.html

Staff Spotlight: Tyler Scurr

Meet Tyler Scurr, the "newest" Family House staff member!

How did you come to be at Family House?
In 2010, I was home from college for the summer and was looking for a job. I knew about Family House through my mom, Kim Scurr, who is a Family House Board Member and Executive Director of the UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. Family House was looking for a summer intern, so I interviewed with CEO Alexandra Morgan, and then spent the summer at Family House. I worked on and off since then, and around March of 2014, I joined the regular Weekend Manager staff. I’ve been working at Family House an average of 2 weekends a month (plus holidays!) since then.

How has Family House changed since you first started?We have more new people on staff than before, and the scope of the organization was a lot smaller. Of course, the fact that there’s a new building going up in Mission Bay is really cool and exciting. That’s the main thing that’s changed - we’re getting bigger - but we’re providing the same kind and quality of service that we have since I started here.

What are some of your favorite Family House memories?
There were 4 families staying at once that all had little kids, around 6 or 7, and every day that I came in, I got to play with the kids all day. They needed a lot of attention, but I was happy to give it to them.

I also got pretty close to one of the dads, Daniel, because he and his family were staying with us for a while. He and I made a bet, and I lost, and he got to shave my head.

Getting to know the families is the best part of my job.

Click here to learn about how you can get involved at Family House.

Rockstar Volunteer: Neely Metz

Neely Metz is an exceptional volunteer. She is willing to do whatever is possible to help the families at Family House. Despite being just 14 years old and a full time student at Convent of the Sacred Heart High School, she has had many roles at Family House. She has helped host family dinners, arts & crafts activities, has done outreach for Family House at community events, and has helped our Operations staff in making sure items are stocked for all our families to use.

She is extremely compassionate, good with children, and hardworking. Her dedication to the families is admirable, especially for her young age. Neely is patient, kind, easy going, organized, and responsible for getting a job well done. She is certainly a leader and leads by example. She takes on every task head-on and has an understanding of the bigger picture at hand.

We would like to acknowledge Neely Metz for her volunteer service at Family House. On behalf of the families and staff, we THANK YOU for your help in making Family House a better place. We know your heart is here.

Learn more about volunteer opportunities at Family House at http://www.familyhouseinc.org/volunteer.html

Family House Family Stories: Frankie's Family

Watch the most recent Family House Family Stories video, Frankie's Family.

Getting Your Priorities Straight by Cory Farley

This powerful article first appeared in the December 1983 issue of Family Focus, the Family House newsletter, and it's still relevant today.

    Let the lawn go unmowed. Put the sprinkler on the tomatoes instead of watering them by hand, or leave them to wither. Let that last bit of work wait until Monday, and get home on time tonight. There are things that are important and things that aren't, and it's time you figured out the difference.
    This burst of philosophy, sappy as it may sound coming out of the blue like this, has been painfully learned: I've spent much of the last three weeks prowling the pediatric ward at Moffitt Hospital in San Francisco, and I've come home with an awareness of mortality I didn't have even in Vietnam.
    I was there- this is only to forestall speculation, not to beat my breast in public- because my wife and I learned early this month that our 2-year old son has leukemia. Just a few years ago, that was a death sentence. Now the five-year survival rate is about 70 percent, and many of those cases are presumed cured. Matt's getting good treatment, and we're optimistic he'll do well.
    But the things I've seen since June 2 have changed the way I will live the rest of my life.
    I wish no one else ever had to endure a month like this, or the years of treatment we pray are still to come. But the fact is that your chances are the same as ours were- 1 in 23,000 for leukemia; higher or lower for other catastrophes. And if I can pass along what I've learned, it may help those who have to face these tragedies- as well as those who don't.
    On balance, I think I'm about as good a father as I can be. Like everybody else, I sometimes cut the grass when my son wants to go fishing or watch football when he wants to play it. But I've also skipped parties to take him on picnics and gone to work at 6 in the morning so I could play with him in the evenings instead of working late.
    And we've been lucky, in a way. We've met parents this month who won't get a second chance. Kids get brain tumors, they get aplastic anemia, they're run over by cars and burned in fires and they go for rides with nice strangers. To some of their parents, a 70 percent chance of survival looks like immortality.
    Here's something to think about. Of all those people, not one expected ever to be pacing the halls of Moffitt Hospital, not any more than I did; no more than you do.
    Four weeks ago I thought- as you probably do- that the most serious "disaster" we'd face would be mumps, or maybe a broken leg. Leukemia was what happened to those kids you read about occasionally who get a trip to Disneyland courtesy of some local service club. But families like yours and mine- careful with prenatal nutrition, adamant about proper diet (Matt had never had a soft drink until we had to force fluids in the hospital), safety-conscious- bad things don't happen to us.
    Wrong: They do. Not just cancer, but all kinds of tragedies. And not just to kids, but to adults as well. My chance of being killed in a car crash, which I never even think about, is statistically five times greater than Matt's was of developing leukemia. You probably don't worry much about accidents at home, but there are twice as many fatalities in the home each year as there are new cases of leukemia.
    The point of this is not to scare you, but to urge you to look at your life. If you knew you had a 30 percent chance of dying in the next five years, or that one of your kids did, would you do all the niggling things you should do, or the things you want to do? Would you cut the lawn this weekend, or go to the park and fly a kite? Paint the bathroom or take a picnic lunch to Lake Tahoe?
    But, you say, we're all healthy, and the house is a mess.
    Why should that make a difference? In 20 years, your kids aren't going to remember if the kitchen floor was shiny. But they'll remember you had time to push them on the swings.

Mighty Mason – Looking Back

Mason H and his family stayed at Family House after his initial diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease, an autoimmune disease. Family House talked with Mason’s mother, Sara:

FH: What were your first memories of learning that Mason had Crohn's Disease? 

Sara: His initial diagnosis was Crohn's, but then the immunology department at UCSF did some testing on him, and they told us there's a very rare chance that he has a genetic disease called IL-10 Receptor Deficiency. He's the tenth noted case in the entire world. That's how rare it was, but the disease mimicked Crohn's. His GI tract was attacking itself basically. He was always in a lot of pain. 

It was a long road just to get to that diagnosis. Before we just thought this is something that he was going to have to live with and deal with. Then they told us that there was a cure, and the bone marrow transplant should take care of it. It was incredibly frightening, but we also saw a little light at the end of the tunnel.

 

FH: What was the most challenging aspect of those early days?

Sara: As a parent, the one thing that you want to do for your children is to protect them and help them, and there was just nothing we could do. We couldn't fix the problem ourselves, and that was just the most frustrating thing. Not knowing exactly what it was, and just watching him in pain all the time. It was incredibly hard. It tested our faith very, very much. 

FH: How did you first discover Family House?

Sara: One of the social workers in the hospital had mentioned it, that Family House specifically helps kids who are immune-compromised, which was what we’d need post-bone marrow transplant.

It was nice to see a place that had all of the comforts of home. Everybody was really helpful, and friendly, and very accommodating, especially Paul in the front office – he was just so warm and friendly. I remember when we were waiting outside and Mason was really, really sick. Paul came out and was really helpful and tried to calm us down. He was like that the entire stay. He checked on us. He always asked us how we were doing. He gave Mason a teddy bear right before we left.

We wouldn't have been able to do it without Family House, honestly, because we were there for quite a while after his transplant and because we live four and a half hours away in Reno. They needed us to be close because we had to do blood work every three days. It was a blessing that Family House was there.

We stayed at Family House for five weeks post-transplant before we got the clear to come back home. And we'd had a few stays prior to that as well, when we were doing all the pre-transplant testing. You need quite a few trips back and forth. We always had a place to stay.

FH: Was there anything that surprised you when you first started staying at Family House?

Sara: They have pictures of some of the kids that have stayed there, and it makes you realize that you're going to make it through. You see the kids. Some of them have sent in pictures afterwards once they’re well. I think that was a pleasant surprise, just to be able to see their journeys, and know that there is an end to it.

One of the hardest things - there's really no one else that truly understands what you're going through unless they're going through it, or have gone through it. People can sympathize, but there are very few people that can actually empathize with you. Meeting some of the families, and hearing their stories, it was definitely helpful. But when you have people there that know exactly what it is, it's somehow comforting.

FH: How is Mason doing now?

Sara: He's doing amazing! It's like nothing ever happened. He's four, and he had his first organized sport this year. We put him in soccer. He's just blossoming. He's growing, and he's just really happy. He's like the happiest kid ever.

FH: Is there one thing that you wish other people to know about Family House?

Sara: Just that it really is home away from home when you're in that kind of situation. It's more comfortable than staying at a hotel. You have all of the comforts of home. You've got your kitchen there. You've got your living room. There are tons of movies and toys to play with. They have volunteers going in and out of there cleaning the place all the time. It's incredibly clean. It's just a huge blessing that it's there. It's one of those places I wish more people knew about, and contributed funding to. I try to tell as many people as I can about it. There are people who want to do their end of year tax deduction, giveaways and I'm like, "Donate to Family House. They're really actually helping families."

To donate to Family House, please visit: https://familyhouse.ejoinme.org